You should not feel 'out of step,' as you say, regarding your spiritual life. You must accept the ordeals and the worries of daily life even if they don't correspond to your true nature. These difficulties at the material level are an excellent working tool; they can only serve the higher levels.

"Do you believe that my son, and what he represents, does not undergo that discrepancy, which is difficult to humanly put up with? Things must be like that; an incarnation in this world, cannot escape this process. Whatever the goal, it is necessary to face realities, which are the rules of the game here below. It is necessary to endure, while giving thanks for the opportunity that is given to work on oneself. There is no possible way out. The human being is possessed of free will, but he cannot escape strong points of his existence, he must manage them at all costs.

"The assessment of his stay on Earth will be done according to this criterion: was he able to face up to things, and in which state of mind has he settled his accounts? Did he keep faith, confidence and was he grateful for what he received? There, is the decisive aspect for the success of his life."

Babuji

--First Selection (Messages referring to the Master, Mission and method of Sahaj Marg)